Reflections on the Women’s March – San Diego
By Dr. Abi Weissman of Waves, A Psychological Corporation
It’s scary I know. You aren’t sure what your rights are. You don’t know what the new president will do, say, or well, do.
You want your family to be safe. You want your friends to be safe. You want everyone to be safe, from the police, from the new POTUS, from the conservatives, from anyone interested in taking away your right to be who you are, who your full self is.
You marched on Saturday. It felt so hopeful, so empowered. You were so excited to support women’s rights, trans rights, women of color rights, undocumented people’s rights.
Maybe you left the march and felt invigorated. Or depleted. Or sad. Or empty, numb. Or people’d out.
Perhaps you are tired. You don’t want to hear people telling you to “wait and see what happens,” or to “give him a chance.”
You want to call your Senators. You want to Take Action.
Or maybe you feel hopeless, discouraged, and embarrassed. Perhaps, you don’t want to fight anymore.
I’m here to tell you that it is a-ok to feel however you feel.
I have a secret to tell you. I have been unable to fathom that Trump is actually THE President of the USA, my country of origin. Last Monday, I remember thinking the march was the next weekend or the weekend after that. I forgot the march was that very Saturday. I even talked about it with friends and colleagues and yet, it didn’t set in that the march was that weekend until the night before. And when it hit me, I realized that I couldn’t sleep. I was so sick with fear that I didn’t rest much at all.
The next day, the day of the march, I was in what felt like a dream state.
With deep and slow breaths, I robotically got ready to leave for the protest march. I arrived early to meet friends and went in search of the San Diego Psychology Association (SDPA).
I found the SDPA and their banner, took my turn holding it up, introduced friends and colleagues to each other and met my neighbor marchers as the day continued onward.
- - -
I was proud to be wearing an anti-racism shirt from a past San Francisco Dyke March.
I didn’t have a pussy hat on.
Pink is not my color.
And I wanted to be there in support of the women who don’t necessarily love pink or who have a vulva.
They are women and they need support too.
The speakers invigorated me. I felt so proud to hear from people whose struggles were similar and different from mine.
And, although the speakers and the march was generally a great experience, I got home and cycled through all sorts of emotions. Happy, sad, scared, nervous, hopeful, sad, overwhelmed, hungry, exhausted, and dazed.
I’m here to tell you that although I was surprised to have so many emotions, I am grateful that I had ‘em. It taught me that
I’m still grieving the results of the election
I need to spend some extra time taking care of myself with more sleep, more exercise, more time with beloved community, and lots of KALE (this isn’t such a deal for me as I love kale).
This election was a huge loss for me. I’m still in the middle of grieving it and that is alright.
Please be kind to yourself too as you muddle
through the next days and weeks and possibly,
months. Grief over a loss like the loss of the
Presidency is still grief and it still needs to be
What are some ways that you are “kind to yourself” as you grieve?
Although, I might whirl up a green smoothie or focus on taking extra walks, your ways to support yourself might be very different.
Maybe knitting calms you? Or you enjoy running? Or scrapbooking? Or watching NASCAR or an old episode of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.
Whatever it is, as long as it supports you, and does not harm anyone else, I encourage you give it a try.
You are worth support and loving attention.
In solidarity for justice and kindness to ourselves and each other,
Dr. Abi Weissman
This post does not indicate a therapeutic relationship. This post is general advice and should not be taken as specific advice. Please see a psychotherapy or counseling professional for individual assistance. If you make home in San Diego county, California or in California in general, please call me at 619-403-5578 for a free 15 minute consultation to see how I could assist you in your journey to thrive.