I decided to go for it and come out of the closet.
Which one, you might find yourself asking?
I thought you already were out as a lesbian, as queer, as a dyke, as under the trans umbrella, as your queer, non-cisgender self. And right you are.
I am out - well, as much as I can be as a clinician. I mean, let's face it. No one wants to go to therapy and here about the therapist's stuff. And that's legit. And I don't want to share my stuff with my clients. After all, they come to see me so I can provide SPACE FOR CLIENTS to process who they are and who they want to be and figure out how to get to their best self.
And while this is still true, I was starting to feel like I wasn't being truthful about why I know lots about ADHD. I rarely share my stuff in the room because, as I said before, I am a holder of space for the client and I never share unless I think it could be beneficial for a client to hear a bit of my journey. I might not share as if it is my own. I might say, "some people might feel this way or that way" and might put myself in one of those "some people" but only I will know that.
And then, I started to feel like I wasn't feeling fully me as I felt like I was hiding a part of who I am in my practice, so I decided to use my experience of coming out as queer and come out as having ADHD, inattentive type.
Because I'm me and I believe in going big, I decided to come out on a podcast about having ADHD.
Thank you, Eric Tivers for granting me the opportunity to come out as having ADHD. Please see the interview HERE.
It was hard to come out. It took me 22 minutes before I could say those words and share me with all of his listeners some of my truths but I did and just like it was when I first came out as queer, it got easier as time (in this case, the episode) continued.
And while some part of me feels so vulnerable about being out, and worrying that I said "the wrong thing" or make a mistake that I wish I could delete from the podcast or was too sarcastic or had too much dry humor, another part of me is so glad to have had the opportunity to be my full quirky self, normalizing mistakes and slip ups, and honoring the parts of myself that are now in the open.
I hope that my sharing will let others know that it is okay to have ADHD and to be queer and to be trans and to be whoever you are.
It is okay to be a clinician and have ADHD.
It is okay to learn from your mistakes.
It is okay to heal.
It's okay to love yourself
and feel vulnerable
and be proud of who you are all at the same time.
This podcast and my coming out also inspired me to begin to share some new offerings at my practice, all intended to help people who have already been diagnosed as having ADHD find emotional healing and support. I call it: ADHD Diagnosis Aftercare. We are now offering individual therapy for people with ADHD, a support group for people with ADHD who identify as trans and/or queer; and a support group for clinicians who have ADHD. Ideally, I would love to have these groups live, in my Poway, CA office, but might offer the clinicians with ADHD virtually if there is interest around the state of California. Please click here to find out more about these offerings and, if you are interested in any of these groups, please contact me through the links on that page and let's get started on reframing your ADHD from a shameful deficit into a fabulous part of your awesome unique self.
Thank you, dear readers, for your patience with me as I find my footing and become my most authentic self so I can best provide truly helpful and informed mental health services.
Dr. Abigail "Abi" Weissman
Psychologist CA PSY 27497
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